Alanna: the woman who rides all the men
by Mz Caroline
Summary: After convincing the stubborn Alanna of trebond to go out with him, sexy prince jon gets the shock of his life. This was not what he bargained for. He was only looking for an easy lay... cheap humor...
1. Woman who rides all the men

Alanna rolled her eyes fiercely, ripping her hand through her flame red hair.

Please, not again she begged silently, while letting out a heavy sigh. How could she make Jonathan see that she just wasn't ready to commit herself to a relationship, even if there were no strings attached.

" Look, I know you're scared, but I also know that deep inside, you want it." Jon said softly, taking a step toward her.

"What? Both you and I know that is completely ridiculous. I didn't want it last time you asked, I don't want it now, and I most certainly won't want it later on." Alanna felt slightly remorseful at having spoken so brutally to her beloved prince, but how else would she make him see that she didn't want her relationship with him, or any other man, to grow beyond that of a friend. Jon stared at her

"oh please, I've seen you flirting with Raoul and Gary, and I've seen the looks you give me when you think I'm not looking."

"you know what? You're annoying the hell out of me, so I'm just going to go now!" Alanna screamed pushing past him. Jon laughed, really loud, as if something Alanna had said made him laugh.

"Wow, that was... Wow… that was quite ... Wow... Yeah… Funny" looking sidelong into his red face, Alanna couldn't help but ask him what was so funny.

"if you don't kiss me now baby, I'll lock you up in the dungeons. I'm sure you'd prefer kissing me, over some rat you'll find scuttling around you're cell."

Alanna was outraged. Her prince, who she would have died fighting for was telling her he'd throw her in the dungeons over a stupid fling he wanted to have.

"I am not some common whore, who will kiss you just because you say so!" she warned " I'd rather go to prison than kiss you." Boldly, Alanna stepped forward and kissed him softly and tenderly on the mouth. She pulled away and stood looking at Jon through fluttering eyes.

" You were right Jon," she said huskily " I really did want it after all."

Jon grinned. "See I knew you'd come around."


	2. A changed WOMAN

A lavender scent wafted through the air as Jonathan and Alanna, who were walking hand in hand, passed a rose bush. Breathing in deeply, Alanna spoke softly

"I love the smell of violets, though not nearly as much as I love the smell of you, after we.. you know.. . Do that thing" she said hotly. Jon looked confused

"Huh? We haven't done _anything. _I'd be surprised if we've even been going out for half an hour."

"26 minutes, sweetie. twenty six _beautiful_ minutes" she leant forward and kissed him on the nose.

"I love you baby" she piped cheekily.

"Umm, why thank you." The stud's eyes widened,. Could it be possible that the lioness was really in love with this handsome man/toy boy/thing.

'Of course it's possible, Jon thought, most definitely not feeling cocky or up himself, 'it is me were talking about after all. She would do anything for me' this gave him an idea.

"So Alanna, such a nice day for a walk don't you think?" thunder rumbled in the distance

"Perhaps to the shag spot.. I mean the flag spot" Jonathan stumbled, trying to hide his error. The flag spot was the place young lovers went to get some privacy.

"Oh any day is beautiful, so long as I have you here by my side"

"Well, what can I say?… other than that it's true" he replied, blushing scarlet. Alanna smiled back sweetly, blushing crimson.

"Come lets go. You can ride moonlight, I'll ride midnight." While tugging at the white sleeve of her tunic, he realised she had stopped dead. Only when he looked into her face, did he see that something was terribly wrong.


	3. Lioness Trampant

"Alanna? What is it? Please, tell me!" Jonathan exclaimed, seeing the mortified expression that lay across Alanna's delicate features. Her mouth opened and closed like that of a gaping fish. Jon slapped her face, hoping to bring her out of her delirium. Gasping, Alanna regained composure and looked at Jonathan's concerned face with little sympathy.

"Have I done _anything_ to offend you? If not, why try separate yourself from me so utterly that you would have me seated upon a completely different horse, as if I were some venomous snake?" Alanna nearly cried in frustration. This time it was Jon's turn to gape.

"But I thought you would want to ride moonlight, you never go anywhere without her?" He breathed out his relief, and almost began to laugh, thinking he had talked his way out of this one. He was wrong

"So this is all just a joke to you? Well maybe I think that _our relationship_ is just a joke. What do you say to that?"

"Ah well, how about you ride in front of me? That way we won't be apart" Jon spoke through gritted teeth. He was starting to realise just how pushy Alanna could be. Images of what Alanna had once been like flashed through his mind. Her face shone with courage, loyalty, honesty and dedication to everything that she did. Now she was just a whiney, clingy annoying romantic. Jon scratched at his head wondering why Alanna had changed so much in just over half an hour. ' I suppose I am partly to blame' he thought ruefully, 'seeing as how I blackmailed her into kissing me. Oh but it will be worth it.'

"Oh that sounds absolutely delightful" Alanna clapped her hands together, startling Jon out from his thoughts.

"You really are so considerate" Alanna flung her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. Jon managed to pull him self-away, and mounted midnight, who had somehow made his way toward the newly made couple. Jon sat atop of the black stallion, and waited for Alanna to mount. He heard a feeble cough arise from below. He knew immediately that it was the hopeless girl, Alanna.

"What is it now?" he asked, getting seriously annoyed.

"I couldn't possibly mount by myself" looking into her puppy dog eyes, Jon realised he would have to get down and help her mount. Then he realised, she was more than capable of getting up by herself. He told her this, but this made her even more whiney

"Well I'm sorry if I thought I deserved at least a little love and affection" Alanna stared defiantly into his blue eyes. She smiled inwardly as Jon dismounted and gave her a leg up.


	4. babies? what babies?

The ride was quite uneventful, and rather unpleasant for poor Jon, who was forced to put up with all of Alanna's pitiful bickering. By this time, Jon was wondering as to whether or not he aught to just give up on Alanna, and hope things would go back to the way they were while they were JUST friends.

"I know where ever you are taking me will be just as amazingly beautiful and exceptional as you, even if it does take forever to get there." Alanna forced her voice to sound pleasant and hoped it would continue to convince Jonathan of her love for him. She had to let this game go one for a little loner before she decided it call it quits. Maybe this would teach her precious prince a well-deserved lesson.

"Ah" Jon sighed in relief as "the flags" floated into view "finally." He whispered, but just loud enough for Alanna to hear.

"Finally?" she asked comically "is that supposed to mean you don't like spending time with me?" tears began to well up in her eyes. Jon could do nothing but stare. He was just about to witness Alanna shed a tear for the first time in all the years he had known her. Her eyes glassed over, any trace of tears he had thought he'd seen, were now gone.

"Oh Alanna," Jon sighed, while rubbing at his tired eyes. "Please, let us just sit, there is a beautiful hill which over looks the lake." Pouting, Alanna reluctantly agreed.

With their latest disagreement behind them, Jon and Alanna sat beside each other, cuddling and kissing.

"Wow," Alanna breathed in awe at the amazing scenery "this really is beautiful"

"Isn't it?" Jonathan smirked, clearly pleased with him self.

"Yeah. I just can't wait to bring our children here. Just think, all those wonderful memories yet to come." She beamed as if it were happening in that very moment. Jon suppressed a yelp of surprise.

"Ah sweetie? Did you saykids?"

"Of course I did silly. What do you think I said?" she laughed joyously, playing with a strand of his jet blackhair.

"But don't you think it's a bit early to start planning kids?" his voice was hopeful, thinking she would realise her talk of children was silly

"What is left to plan? I've already done most of it. I was thinking, it would be best if we made our first baby in a week or so. She will be a girl, and I think I will call her Alainna."

Peering from the corner of her eye, she saw Jon's face grow as pale as parchment. Jon twiddled his thumbs for a bit before he decided to speak. He knew how much this would hurt Alanna, but he wouldn't compromise his happiness.catching sight of Jon's movement as he turned to face her, alanna did the same, until both were facing one another. Jon's expression was the exact opposite to Alanna's jubilant one. Takingher small hands in his own big ones, Jon sighed heavily. Alanna looked at him strangely

"Jon?" she said, arching her eyebrow.

"I'm not sure if we should continue seeing one another. You're just moving _way _too fast for me to keep up. I mean children? I'm not even 21 yet. I'm sorry." Jon pulled his hands away swiftly and stood up quickly.his head hung low ashis path gradually led further away from Alanna. The last glimpse he caught of his warrior maiden before he passed over the hill was the lustrous redhead, hiding her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

With Jon out of sight, Alanna sat up briskly, lifting her grinning face out of her hands. It had been hard to keep a straight face through the break up, butwithhim now gone, she threw her head back and laughed uproariously. Once again she had gotten exactly what she had wanted, even if it did require lying to her best friend.

"Oh but it was worth it." Chuckling under her breath, remembering the look on Jon's face as she brought up the topic of children. She only hoped he wouldn't feel to bad for breaking up with her, considering howconvincingly Alanna had acted out the break up scene. But if she knew Prince Jon like she thought she did, he would most likely ignore her fora few days to come, then pretend nothing happened Rapidly, she became aware of how cold it was getting outside. Deciding quickly that she aught to get back to the castle before she froze, she set of down the hill, toward the spot midnight had been kept.

"Dammit!" she said after having reached her desired destination, where Jon should have been waiting for her. He had left without her! Alanna fumed at the thought of having to walk home in the freezing cold.

"Well I suppose I did kind of deserve that." She said wretchedly thinking about the long distance ahead of her.Travelling toward the cobble-stoned path that would lead her right back to the palace, she hopedJon wouldn't take the news of her acting out the whole-romance thingtoo badly. She continued making her way down the path quickly, trying to keep warm. Stilllost in her thoughts, alanna didn't hearthe clater of horse hooves until they were already beside her. An old, wrinkled man with a weathered face, looked down at her from his dun coloured mount

"What are ye doin' walkin by yerself with a storm on the way. Are ye crazy or just plain stupid?"

"Just plain stupid" Alanna retorted sarcastically "and besides it's not going to rain…" to Alanna's dismay, a loud crash of thunder drowned out her last words and it began to rain heavily.

"Leave! Now!" Alanna yelled rudely at the old prune who was now grinning broadly. He obliged at once, still laughing. Alanna reviewed her situation. Walking home in the pouring rain drenched to the bone with no horse and no trees nearby. Boy, did she feel unlucky.

"I really don't think this day could have gotten any worse than it already has." She spoke through gritted teeth as she set off at a fast jog. If only Jon had taken her home. A realisation struck her. This was all Jon's fault! Strangely, she didn't feel sorry for him anymore.


End file.
